Saturday, December 29, 2012

On The Ban-wagon

There's a still a lot of talk about banning guns, and what could have prevented this shooting and that one. And, how if there were no guns in the U.S.A. these people wouldn't be dead. And, other bullshit that ignorance brings with it. And, then I come across a photoshop of Timothy McVeigh...
 
 
...and then read a comment on it about banning guns, because the majority of murders are committed by people with guns. And, it kinda set wrong with me.
 
It's not so much the ban-don't ban guns argument, but the ignorance of people that want to make the arguments. Blaming crime and murder on guns, is like blaming speeding tickets and wrecks on cars. Unless you drive a Toyota, your car isn't going to drive down the road it's self and run into things and people, nor is it going to drag race the neighbours Prius. My Colt will not kill anyone whilst lying on my nightstand. Nor will an Uzi get up and make its way to a school and just start killing people. Someone, usually a person of the human persuasion, has to start the car and press the skinny pedal to make the car speed and run into things, just like I have to pick up my Colt to kill an intruder. Just like some picked on kid has to pick up that Uzi and carry the sumbitch to the damn school and shoot it up.
 
If we ban guns to reduce crime, we may as well ban cars to reduce accidents, ban sex to prevent teen pregnancy, ban natural gases and wood to prevent fires, ban male-female integration to prevent rape, ban knives to prevent cuts, ban... Hell lets just ban everyfuckingthing... Here's ya a tent and a stick. You'll be safe now.
 
Now something I found funny on The Chive.
 
 
 
 

Friday, December 28, 2012

Mansome.

While parusing the webs this morning. I came across this set of videos called Mansome. It's a guide for being more manly. (Insert gutteral, primal grunts here) I only have time to watch one of the videos, (the one that poped up on my Yahoo front page) so I won't give it a half assed review. But, the video I did watch, is about how to easily start a fire with a tampon. This episode is called Manpon, to which I chuckeled a bit as I went to click the link. I have the main page bookmarked to check out at my leisure, and will see if it's worth messing with and if the tips on grooming, survival, grilling, and whatever else they have on there are worth a damn. But, I found this video slightly funny, and I did learn a little something, kinda...

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

The Day After

The day is over, Christmas is done. The time, nay days for shopping has begun. The snow has fallen and the department stores are a callen. Warm up the truck, and wish us luck. Head into town with nary a frown. Pull in the lot and what should I see. Thousands of people with the same idea as me. The sidewalks all crowded and there's a line at the door. They're not even open and there's people asleep on the floor. The parking lot's full, I have to park in the back. It's about this time I start wishing, Santa had just left his sack. What was once a joy has turned to a chore. Feels more like I'm heading into a war. So, "To hell with this," I say. "We'll, just come back another day." The gift cards are good, if I'm understood. Till the end of the year. So let's go home, I'm ready for a beer.

Or maybe eggnog...

Sunday, December 23, 2012

Some Random Stuff.

I hate days like today, when I have a bunch of stuff rambling through my head, but can't get them organised enough for coherent thought. Sometimes I have a tendency to babel about random shit. Enjoy.

A business card sized piece of parchment was found that indicates that Jesus may have been married. And, it seems to caused quite a stir. A lot of religious doctrine is based on the idea that Jesus was celibate, or un-married, which is often confused with chaste or chastity, which is the vows that monks and the pope take is a vow of chastity, which means remaining pure and abstaining from sex. The woman that identified the papyrus named it The Gospel Of Jesus Wife. Here's the translation of it. And, is has been disputed as a fake or forgery. But, from what I can tell, the main uproar from the Vatican and the churches is that it seems to indicate that Jesus wasn't single, and boned on a regular basis, being married and all. I know it's hard for man to admit when we're wrong, but when you're way off or something comes up that may put your thinking back a few thousand years. I think it should be worth a serious look and some serious contemplation. Also, as it would turn out, it was a common belief in ancient times that Jesus was married, seemingly before the formation of the Catholic Church, which has had substantial effect on world wide Christian religions. It was the Catholic Church that decided what books of the bible were kept, what doctrine was, and pretty well molded Christianity into what it is today. The Apocrypha, which are gospels either left out of The Bible, or discovered after the compilation of it's current incarnation. Some of which were left out because of authenticity reasons, accuracy, and some for reasons unknown. What I wonder is, if Jesus was married, what does it matter in the long run, does it really change the core of Christianity? I wouldn't think so. I would think that The Pope, and chaste monks would rejoice in the revelation of Jesus being married. "Sister Anne, please meet me in my study after dinner." I don't think that Jesus having a wife would or should shake the foundations of Christianity. Now, if we found out that his father was say, Lucifer or Darth Vader, then you may have some foundation and core rocking going on there. But, even in that case, what would we learn, either that Jesus was sent to earth or foil God's grand plan. Or, that some names got mixed up, as people are bound to to at times. About the only thing that I can see that would bring the walls of the Christian religions down, is if we found the last page of The Bible, and it simply said "The End".

Facebook gets on my nerves. There's too much crap to like, too many companies that want your attention, too many "I'm taking a dump" and "Starbucks is soo good" status updates. It's damn rediclous. I go on my wall to check things out, and I go back two pages and haven't made it past noon, and it's mostly from pages I like and click here for your game coins or gifts or whatthefuck ever. And, it doesn't even have a cool layout or design like MySpace does. But, eveybody's there because it's newer, not necessarily better, but newer. You get on your page, click through a bunch of Farmville requests, stare a a blue and white page, and think what the hell am I doing? And, you know what the real bitch of it is? I'm going to post a link to my blog on there after I publish it.

I like to think of myself as a master builder of small things. I'm pretty damn handy with a saw, hammer, and drill. I can build damn near anything you can imagine out of wood. I'm currently working on a chicken house and coop, and will post pictures when I'm done. But, the main problem is, I don't have a variety of tools, I kinda need to do the projects I want to do. And, damn sure don't have to tools I want and need to go into production of my projects to sell them. It's like being a professional fisherman that just has a Zebco 33 on an Ugly Stick and nothing else.

Well, thanks for reading my rants. Have a Merry Christmas y'all.

Saturday, December 22, 2012

It's The Holidays.

This is hoping that all y'all have a nice safe holiday. A merry Christmas, and a wonderful New Year.
May your resolutions manifest into what you plan on and thank y'all for hanging 'round through the thick and the thin of this blog.

Now, I can't say as I did very well on my resolutions. I did improve on my weight, lost about thirty or forty pounds, and spent more time outside, curbed my cussing a bit (that one was tougher that I figured), and have worked more on instilling in my children good morals and sense of responsibility, led by example more. Still need improvement on most of them though.

The exercise didn't go as planned, in fact it didn't go at all. And, technically I did do more volunteer work, but not as much as I had initially wanted to. I helped with a lunch to benefit the local Veterans Association, and helped with our Veterans Day celebration, and me and my wife partially sponsored a local toy drive with the school. But, I want to do more next year.

And, that's my resolutions for next year, not to make any more changes. But, to just improve on what I've already started. And, balls to bones, that's all you can really do, is to just to improve on what you've started. And, just like one of my old sayings, "Just Keep On Keepin' On."

In Case I Missed It...

So, how did Armageddon go? I think I missed it. Probably slept right through it.

Friday, December 21, 2012

12/21/2012, The End Of The World As We Know It

Well, doomsday has finally arrived! It's the end of the world as we know it! Hope you've stocked up on supplies, planes will crash, trains will jump their tracks, cars will flip, semi trucks will jackknife, and bicycles will run backwards when you pedal forward! Running for your life is useless because it will get you no matter where you hide! Say your prayers and hope a God in some form or fashion exists! And, when you lay down tonight cuddle up with your loved one or in a ball with your head between your legs and kiss your ass good bye!

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T-!

I call bullshit. Truth of the matter is, every day is the end of the world as we know it. The world today, isn't the same as the one yesterday, nor will it be the same tomorrow as it is today. Something happens everyday that changes our world, for better or worse, small or grand, something changes. But, this whole doomsday today stuff I believe is just hogwash. Yes, today is the last day of the Mayan calendar. So what? A week from Monday is the end of our calendar, for this year. The Mayans didn't say that today was the last day of the world, just the end of the current cycle of their calendar. And, I bet that when tomorrow wakes us up, it will be the beginning of the next cycle of their calendar. So, I'm not buying into all this doomsday prophecy bull. And, if I'm wrong? Who the hell is going to come up to me tomorrow and say, "Told ya so."

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Pistols, Rifles, and Grenades! Oh My!

Now, that the dust has settled a little bit over the shootings in Connecticut. It was a sad and tragic event, I feel for the parents and families of the children and teachers that died at Sandy Hook Elementary. What happened may have been preventable, maybe. Laws can not and will not prevent shootings, intentional or accidental. No matter how strict the gun laws may be, someone is going to find a way around them and go ape shit and shoot somebody or go on a rampage at a school, mall, restaurant, amusement park, or where ever they feel like it at the time, regardless of what laws are in place. Case in point, the Sandy Hook shooting wasn't done by a good willed law abiding citizen, the guy that did the killing didn't legally own the guns, not even sure if he was legally able to in the first place. He may have had some mental problems, I have tried to find out if he did or not, couldn't find anything conclusive, just hear say. Same with the kids that at Columbine in Colorado. The kids didn't legally own those guns. Although in both cases the guns were purchased lawfully, they weren't possessed by the shooters legally. So, what did the gun laws prevent? Not a damn thing. And, they never will. As the old saying goes, "If you outlaw guns, only the outlaws will have guns." And, that is the truth of the matter, and I will be one of those outlaws. Now I'm not going to go out shooting up the town, but I damn sure will have one for personal protection for when the criminals come into my home thinking I don't own a gun because they'd be illegal. Criminals don't give a flying fuck about laws, if they did, they damn well wouldn't be criminals. And, granted the school shootings that have happened over the last decade or so are truly tragic, and my heart goes out to the families of the victims. But, banning guns is not only unconstitutional and against the common citizen, it's just plain stupid for reasons I've already mentioned. If guns are banned then criminals will go uncontested except by law enforcement officers, and besides their complete lack of giving a shit, they're outnumbered by thousands to one. And, I will say that ninety percent or more cops do actually care about their jobs and aren't corrupt, and it's not the corruption that is my main complaint. But, I am in no means in good shape, I'm a fucking fat as hell, although I have lost about fifty pounds in the last year. I'm still to fat to be doing much running, and there are cops every where I go that I could easily outrun and not even be out of breath. Sure, they have guns and can legally use them if needed. But, I and every body that has a lick of sense knows that they won't if they come across somebody in a crowed mall or street, unless the person they're after is shooting shit up.

But, I digress.

Lets look at what's really happening here in The United States of America regarding shootings. First off, as sad as these shootings are, what you hear is mostly media hype, they dramatize shit into oblivion. From what I can tell, it's not that it's happening more often or more people are getting killed, it's that the media, and fear mongers are putting it out front for you to see. It's all in the writing, take a look at Mass shootings map from Mother Jones, it's accurate in the factual statements. But, by adding buzzwords like, epidemic, arsenal, blasting, and massacre. Now I'm not saying that these words were inappropriately used, but they were used to entice a reaction from the reader. The media does this all the time. Even according to this website, there have been sixty-two in the last thirty years. Damn, you say, sixty-two that's a lot. Yea, it's a lot, but that's barely more that two a year. Gangs and criminals probably kill more people in a year, than all sixty-two of these mass shootings have combined. I couldn't find any conclusive or accurate, there are a lot of cases of shootings in cities with high gang presence that the findings are inconclusive as to who or why the person or people were killed. And, here's a post from The Washington Post, Twelve facts about guns and mass shootings in The United States. And, here is a chart from DPIC, Death Penalty Information CenterMurder rates nationally by state. Take note that the numbers on the right of the chart from DPIC are per one hundred thousand, so let's take my home state here. According to DPIC, Oklahoma had a murder rate of five and a half people per 100,000 last year, with a population of 3,791,508 according to the US Census Bureau, that gives us 208 deaths that year. That is nearly ten Sandy Hooks, and our rate hasn't fluctuated much in the last fifteen years. Actually according to DPIC, murder rates have dropped overall over the last fifteen years. And, from what I can tell the number of mass murders hasn't gone up significantly in the last thirty years, just the media and fear mongers want to put it out front to make you think that violence in our nation is getting worse, when in fact it seems quite the opposite to me. And, I believe that more guns in the hands of civilians will do nothing but put that trend on a quicker path to lower murder rates and reduced crimes committed against society and the general populace.

As a population and citizens of this nation, and this planet. We need to stand up for ourselves, and not let the government control our lives. If you don't take control of your own life, someone else will, and you probably won't like where you end up. If you expect someone else to make your rules and guide your life and babysit your sorry asses, then you have no room to bitch about how your life turns out or what happens to you. I believe that our government should be in a near anarchy state, not total anarchy, but as a support system to the citizens taking care of business. Make laws that regard the nation as a whole, not just sub-groups. Government laws should protect our citizens not hinder them. They should make our country a better place to live, not be a thumb on your back to hold you in place to keep you from getting hurt. If you want your government to make your decisions for you, then you need to move to one of the countries that have a dictator instead of a president, that are communist or militant. Move to China, where the government tells you how many kids you can have. Move to Cuba, Burma, or Niger where you don't have any rights for shit. You don't want to move to those countries??? Then you just want to turn The United States of America into one of those countries then? No? Well, you're off to a hellova start with stricter gun control laws, especially the outright banning of guns to citizens.

Well, I'm not done, but I've got shit to do today. But, I'll leave you with this little bit of inspiration.

If you give up your guns, you give up your rights and freedom.

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Sharin' Some More Music I Love

Not sure if I've shared this first one before or not, I couldn't find it my past posts. So, here it is. The first one I have fell in love with just beecause Eric Lee Beddingfield is an amazing vocalist, and the subject is just badass, kinda reminds me of shortly after I got my first divorce and spent a hallova lot of time at my Dad's bar, Dad was a huge George Jones fan. And, as you'be probably guessed I like a mix of music, from counrty to heavy metal and a little rap. And, I believe I have found a nice combination of the country and metal in the second video. It's Volbeat doing a good job on a quitessential country song from Hank Williams. The second Volbeat song reminds me of an old song from the big band era, but nice and heavy. Number four is an established band, Three Days Grace, and this is their newest offering for public display, and it's just bad ass. And, the last one is Eminem and Lil Wayne, and definately not safe for work, unless you work on a drilling rig, bar, music studio, or a whorehouse. Yet, it's a damn good song.





Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Best Damn Article Ever.

This is one of the best articles ever written. I highly recommend most of the articles I share here, but this is a must read and pass. No, its not any of that pass this on and Zimbabwe will never be hungry again, or if you send it to twelve people and get it back five times you'll come into money next week horse shit. It's just a good honest harsh grab ya by the saggies and swing article. I file it under, Shit I know now but wish I would have known twenty six years ago and was learned this kind of brutal honesty. Cracked.com 6 HarshTruths That Will Make You A Better Person

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Just a poem.

Good or evil
What's the difference
We all lie together in the end
The saints and the sinners
Shoulder to shoulder we rest
The ground knows no difference
Nor does it care

Saturday, November 3, 2012

Vote!? What, me, why?

It's getting close to election time here in the United States of America. Yeay!!!! Kinda... I can't say that I'm too excited about our candidates. Although I do have my opinion on which is the better to lead our country, though I don't think either one is that great. But, I must point out that although they may have some great ideas on how things should be done, it's not their fault taxes get raised or one bill gets passed while another one sits and rots. The presidents power is very limited. He has to deal with congress, senators and represinitatives, his advisors, and who knows who else, not counting the media and the miniority of the population that the media likes to shove down our throats. Ohhh, we need to make roads safer by making people stay home or ride a bike to work, because my brother got hit by a car while walking home one night and got hit by a speeding Mercedes! (READ: while walking home from the bar at three in the morning and passed out while walking down the road and fell in front of a Mercedes going a whole mile over the posted speed limit)! I've got over a thousand signatures of people that agree with me. That is a significant part of the population of this city. Something needs to be done!!!" They neglect to mention the face that it took six months of standing outside local stores to get those signatures, and that the population of the city is a hundred thousand plus, so it eaqules less than a tenth of a percent of the population. We hear talk of policies and taxes and promises made and who voted how on which bill and who they slept with in colleges and who they smoked pot with in high school. Personally I don't give a damn. I do like to know where they stand on every issue, but they don't have the power to really make the changes. That's all in congress, the people you vote for locally, your senators and representatives.

But, I'm not wanting to rant and rave about all this political crap, but I would like to share my thoughts on what my policies would be should I ever be granted the privledge and burden of being elected The President of The United States of America. (Yea, I wrote the wole title of our country, because that the name of it, not America. U.S.A. is also acceptable in my eyes, but America is a big area to cover and a generalization of the two continents that are divided into North and South America, which includes many countries, of which I live in ONE of the American counrties, not THE American counrty.)

I believe that, instead of building more refineries and power plants, we should impliment a policy that all new buildings should be required to be self powered either by solar, or wind power. And, be requested to be hooked up to the grid for times when the extra power is needed elsewhere. Give yearly tax credits for those who do hook up to the grid, those that don't, well you're shit outta luck, you just get your electric free. Effective immediately. And, require retro fitting to existing business' within three years, and homes within five. Current construction would fall under the existing category.

Require new construction to build underground cisterns to collect excess rainwater. They would have to be capable of holding double the monthly water requirements for the building, at minimum. Same retro fit and time line requirements as the renewalble power mentioned above.

Would require all government vehicles be converted to CNG (Compressed Natural Gas), a hybrid electric/CNG conversion would be ideal and highly suggested. Also, require any and all automakers that sell in the U.S.A. to have all their fleet available with the hybrid electric/CNG option. All this within three years. And, if you checked out the link above, I know I grind elecric vehicles into the ground, but with these other solutions, with the fully sustainable homes and business' and hybridising them, it would cut our pollution to nearly nothing.

I fully believe that some laws should be universal or partly universal. Like speed limits, seat belts, helmets, stuff that involves the individuals and the public at large mainly. For example, I believe that the Federal government should be responsible for the intersate highway system, not the states that they're in. It was a government project for the national military, it should be maintained by the people who had it built, unless sold to someone else. So, either the U.S.A. government or China needs to pony up some dough. Effective immediately.

Personally, I'm all for a flat tax. And, NO damn refunds or tax breaks. NO bailouts for anybody, either sink or swim. Effective immediately.

I think that the states should have equal representation in congress, and my proposal is that you have two elected officials from each state, (similar to the senate) but those two representatives would be the Governor and Vice Governor, and then have elected officials based on population, (like the house) but those representatives would have to have served on the State government in a similar capacity for a minimum of five years prior. Also, they would be limited to three two year terms, although they could be re-elected after they sit out a term, if the people want them back in that capacity. And, the new "senators" would hold their positions as long as they held their State elected positions. Also, a severe cut in pay for all government employees strictly representing the citizens, senators, representatives, president, speaker of the house, etc... I'm not talking about making them starve, I know it's a full time stressful job. But, come on, a couple hundred thousand a year, for the rest of your life, how the hell is that not good enough... Also, congress would only meet for a couple weeks every quarter so the Governor and Vice-Governor could focus on their respective states needs like they should be able to.

I also think that drugs that can be made naturally, or with very little refinement should be legalizes. Now, I don't condone the use of street drugs. But, people are going to get high anyway, may as well make it legal, taxed, and regualted by the government, not only would this bring in more tax revenue, it would reduce crime, and they could be made safer for the people that enjoy doing the drugs. Imagine if weed was grown on a farm where the farmer cared about his crop and the quality of his bud, instead of it being grown in a basement or closet, with who the hell knows what thrown in the dirt or water for the plants. Or, cocaine, heroine, or opium being manufactured in a sterile facility instead of someones shed or bathroom. And, of course the laws regarding the use of such drugs would have to fall along the lines of the laws regarding alcohol. To explain where I'm coming from on this, would you go buy a six pack from some grungy dude who brews beer using old hot water heater tanks, and repurposed copper tubing. Think about that for a second.

I would reasses the deployment of our troops and call the ones home that weren't in a conflict that directly involved the United States, or our allies. Some wars need to be fought, but we don't need to be fighting other peoples wars. And, after that, if someone wants to push us, we'll stand up, look 'um straight in the eye, and kick some ass. Other than that, the boys need to stay home with their families.

As far as gun conntrol goes, the only control you need is to be able to hit where you're aiming. I believed a well armed populace is a well prepared populace. Talk about dropping crime. Imagine a criminal walking into a convient store or liquor store with the intent of robbing it and the people in it. I'm not going to speak for anybody else, but I know I'd be more likely to be brazen and bold about it knowing that when I walked in the chance of someone else having a gun, mostlikely the owner or clerck behind the register, was very low or nonexistant. And, I have to say, I'd think long and hard about how desperate I was for money and food before I walked into a store with the chance that not only the owner/clerk may have a gun, but also that there is a very good chance that at least one other person may have one, and a slight chance that they all do. But, even with the chance that it's just the two that have guns, I can know only one sure bet as to which of the people do, the owner or clerk. Who has the other is a crap shoot. It could be the camo'd redneck, the soccer mom, the little nerdy guy looking at the carbs in the soda he's thinking about buying, or... it could be the grandma over there minding her business picking out some pork rinds... And, like everything else, well regulated and laws to protect those on both sides of the fence of the subject. If you have a history of physical unprovoked violence, such as beating your wife or kids. Nope, no gun for you. I don't care if you didn't get a felony over it or not. You show viloent tendancies, so you're out.

Marriage laws should be restructured as well, I think if you want the divorce, you shouldn't get the others money. If you need their money that bad, then don't damn well leave untill you don't. Alimony should only be given under the right circumstances, like infedility and you haven't worked in the past five years, or something like that. If you're not at fault for the divorce, the courts should look in your favor. Adultry should come back as a viable excuse for divorce. Domestic violence, or abuse of any kind involving you or your children. And, that will put you at no fault, even if you file.

Kids. That's our future leaders, businessmen, mothers and fathers. They should be take care of, taught well, and gromed into the perfect version of who they are. Schools, should be better regualted than they are, only one set of cirriculum should be taught, schools should be syncronized to where a student can go from one school to another and not get lost or fall behind, not get bored because they're so far ahead of the others. Now, there are some exceptionally smart kids, that deserve to and can advance in grades faster than their peers, they shouldn't be held back because of their age.

Ribbons shouldn't be given for particapation. But, kids should be rewarded for excelling in whatever they do. That's how the world works, you get paid and promoted based on your performance, not because you tried.

Also, affirmative action and right to work should be banned. I believe that whoever is better for the job and can do it the best should get the job, regardless of what they look like or believe. Plain and simple, if you can't do the work you can't have the job. If you can't do it as well as someone else, you don't get the same pay.

There is a whole list of crap I could rant about and talk about in my presedential bid. But, I'm tired of typing and I got stuff to do. So, if you have an issue, and you want my opinion about, leave me a comment.

Thanks for reading, and my apologies for being gone for far too long. Thanks, for sticking with me.

Heaven or Hell 11/3/12

It seems I didn't get your attention with the Heaven or Hell posts. But, the scenario that I laid out should make you think about civilizations moral compass a bit. And, hopefully you thought about what exactly are morals in the first place, which is why I started the Heaven or Hell series of posts. I have noticed that no matter how much "good" a person does for their fellow man, how many times he has helped others out, be it a simple warm meal, blankets in the winter, fans in the summer, clothes on his back, or shoes on his feet. It seems to take only one "bad" thing to bring it all down and for him to be declared a sorry piece of shit, a sinner, evil, no good, or a vast number of other things that shouldn't be said in public. Yet, on the other hand, if a person does nothing but "bad" for others, doesn't give to charities, sells drugs, beats his wife, or her husband (It does happen people), or any other thing that society has decided was "bad" or evil. And, they decide to have a heart once because he goes to the soup kitchen with his mom to help, they look at him and say, "No big deal", "He's just doing it for ....", they're always skeptical as to his motives, and even if he flies straight from that moment on, people still look at him and say, "Well, you remember twenty years ago, he's the one that...". Whatever the case may be, he will never live it down.

I ask you why is it. Why when someone does a little something "bad" do people have a negative perspective of him, regardless of what or how much "good" he has done. Or, when they do a lot of "bad", when they do something "good" it is pretty much ignored or looked upon with skepticism.

Why does the negative so much outweigh the positive. Are, we just microscoping the "bad" to make ourselves feel better, programed to remember the "bad" out of self preservation, or do we really know why we're like this.

This reminds me of a story that describes what I'm talking about to a T. I'm not sure where the story came from, who came up with it, or if it was originally intended to be the joke it is today, or if it was suppose to project a moral lesson. But, it is very fitting to our train of thought.

A little boy asked old man Tom how he got his nickname.
Old man Tom replied, "Son. Ya' see that beautiful bridge over yonder that crosses the river goin' outta town".
The boy says, "Yea!"
Tom, "Well, I designed and built that bridge, as well as more en half the ones in this county. Ya' know tha Town Hall."
Boy, "Yea!"
Tom, "Same thing there, I designed and built it as well, and nearly a quarter of the business and houses in this here town. You, know the statue of the man this here town was named after, ya know down in the square".
Boy, "Sure do!"
Tom, "Now I weren't much on carvin' but my brother was the best in the land, I laid out the design for it and he carved it out of the same limestone we build the Town Hall and Babtist Church out of. Ya, gettin' me now son".
Boy, "I sure am, mister Tom!"
Tom, "Now you ever hear any these town folk call me Old Man Tom, the Bridge Builder. No. Nor do they call me Old Man Tom, the House Builder. And, they sure as hell ain't never called me Old Man Tom, the Statue Artist. Ya ever hear 'um call me that. Why hell no ya ain't, cause they ain't never done it. But, ya fuck one goat...."

Monday, October 22, 2012

Heaven or Hell? (10/22/12)

Man, never attends church, donates half a million dollars a year to charities, helped build a homless shelter with a kitchen in his home town, the company he owns employees people from the homeless shelters to help them get back on their feet. Goes to Bosnia for vacation once a year and buys a teenage girl for a week.

Monday, October 15, 2012

Heaven or Hell? (10/15/12)

Man, goes to church every Wednesday and Sunday, faithful to his wife and kids, donates twenty percent to the church and volunteers for all church functions. Masturbates to a single child porn video on Friday nights.

Monday, October 8, 2012

Heaven or Hell? (10/8/12)

Man, does nothing but donate five bucks a week to The Ronald McDonald House when he buys dinner there once a week. Just works his daily job and goes home. No interaction with people except at work and his McDonalds supper once a week.

Monday, October 1, 2012

Heven or Hell? (10/1/12)

Woman, single mom, two kids, works forty hours a week, goes to church when she's not working, cooks dinner every evening. Moonlights every weekend as a stripper to make ends meet.

Monday, September 24, 2012

Heaven or Hell? (9/34/12)

Woman, Doesn't go to church, doesn't donate any time or money to any church. Serves at the local shelter and soup kitchen twice a month.

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Heaven or Hell?

This is something I was thinking about the other day. I guess it's more of a morals issue, rather than a religious one. According to most religions if you sin, you go to hell, unless truly forgive for your sins before death. And, if all goes according to plan, I will be posting these weekly, on Mondays. But, we shall see. Basically, what I'm wondering is if the person described here in would go to Heaven or Hell, all religious beliefs and inclinations aside, is this person basically a good person or a bad person, are they going to Heaven or Hell?

 Man sells drugs for a living and buys hookers every weekend. Takes blankets and coats for the homeless, and takes fans to the elderly.

Does he go to Heaven or Hell?

Saturday, September 15, 2012

Not right at all...

I hate to even put this on my page, but this shit really needs to stop. For the sake of your grandmother and her mother, pleas tell your damn kids no every once in a while.

I don't know who the hell thought this was a cute photograph, but they need to be shot in the genetialia repetedly with a bb gun, for even taking this picture. I'm not going to comment on the caption of this picture. But, you can tell these girls are way to damn young to be wearing anything near that slutty. This is the correct path to send your child straight to hookerville. This affirms my opinion that certian styles of clothing shouldn't be mad to fit certian people. No, not every woman, needs to wear a miniskirt and a halter top. Hell, no woman should need to wear that shit. And, if you think you do, you need some serious psycological evaluations. This is not sexy at all, not even on a grown woman that has the body to pull it off, and way less on a pre-teen or teenage girl. This is not right on so many levels they're not even countable. This is straight up whorerific. Pun intended. If a woman has to dress this was when going out, they must not have much to offer besides their bodies, and putting it on display like this isn't going to make any man look at you and say, "Hummm, I wonder what her GPA was". Or, "I bet she'd make a great mother to my kids". And, I know what's going to happen in the coming years with these girls, they're going to be in their bedroom crying and momma's going to come check on them to see what's wrong, "I think I'm prego mom! I'm over a month late! And, Tommy broke up with me when he found out last week! And, his cousin told me that he's transfering to another schoool! What do I doooooo!!!!" And, momma's going to cry herself to sleep that night and the nights to follow wondering what the fuck she did wrong for her daughter to end up like this.

This ain't even cute as a damn gag, or playing dress up.



Thursday, August 30, 2012

I believe I have figured out how to get ahead at work and in life, well at work at least. I think that if I work the same schedule that my co-workers do, I will be rolling in the money in no time. My thinking is if I can get to work at five o'clock in Vegas, and stay till seven Eastern Standard Time, that will give me fourteen hours a day. Now, I know that seems like a lot of work, but it's really not bad once you get used to it. After a while it starts to seem like you're just working a normal shift. I'm not one to discuss my wages, so I won't, but the way I have it figured, I can take off most every Friday and still get a nice check.

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Dear Son/Daughter

Child, it's not my job as a parent to make sure you are utterly and completely happy at all times. It is my job to make sure you know right from wrong, take responsibility, stand up for what's right, and basically be a good upstanding human being, no matter how much it pisses you off, embarrasses you, or hurts your feelers.

Love;
Dad

Saturday, April 14, 2012

???

I would greatly appreciate an explination as to what this is exactly. Because, I have no idea where this would be found on a chicken.



Saturday, March 3, 2012

The Truth About Marriage.

Marriage, as with any relationship, shouldn't be about what you have sacrificed, but what you gain by being in that relationship. in fact there should be no real sacrifices,  only gains.

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Dear Son/Daughter

Child, it's not my job as a parent to make sure you are utterly and completely happy at all times. It is my job to make sure you know right from wrong, take responsibility, stand up for what's right, and basically be a good upstanding human being, no matter how much it pisses you off, embarrasses you, or hurts your feelers.

 Love;

Dad

Monday, January 9, 2012

Answers To Life's Biggest Mystery

Leave it to Chris over at Knucklehead! to come up with some funny stories. And, for all we know, they could be true...
So please head over there and check his latest out. You'll find the answers to one of the most confusing and asked questions of all humankind.

Well after having posted this, I another post that just made me laugh like a horse with a whistle.
So here's number two on the list, from The Peachy 1 at The Pits Of Being Peachy.

Monday Punny Monday

Check 'em out.




Sunday, January 8, 2012

Urban Dictionary...



Driving a motor vehicle while talking or texting on a cell phone.
Each time I see someone driving and talking on the phone I say to myself something's got to be done about these dangerous people; but nothing ever is. They just keep motoring along playing Blackberry roulette until one day their carelessness alters the life of an innocent.
 



 

Friday, January 6, 2012

Bizzaro Blog


I found this on Kipp's blog Rockbottom, and found it to be funny as hell.

I hope y'all enjoy. Also, here's the link to Bizzaro Blog, where this and other funny comics can be found.




Monday, January 2, 2012

Is The Year Technially Still New?

I mean, it is a day old. At a doughnut shop, it'd be half off. Well, either way, I hope everybody's new year is going well.

With the new year there is a lot of talk about resolutions and how to make them and how to keep them. The most common articles I have read either talk about how you should write them down to solidify the commitment, and either break down big goals into sizable daily or weekly chunks, or make smaller eaiser obtainable goals that are easier to accomplish. I see the same articles every year, and it seems that now they're just taking what they wrote last year (or fifteeen years ago) and just re-hashing it and rearranging the sentences a little. Then, it's publish and considered a new article. Well, this ain't going to be one of those posts. I'm not even going to talk about how you should do anything about your resolutions. I'm just going to talk about what mine are and how I plan on accomplishing them. Now, I've never been big on making resoultions. In fact, I have never even considered making any. But, there are a few things I need to get straight in my life, and I figured I might as well do it this way.

First off I need some get some of this fat off. Personally, I'm don't give a damn about how much I weigh. According to the doctors and tables and posters, I should weigh around 190 to 215 pounds (being as that I'm about six feet tall, and have a big bone structure). Some charts and and caclutlators I've found on the web go as low as about 140 to 175 pounds. I weighed 187 pounds when we had our eight grade football weigh ins. But, I digress. As I was saying, I'm not concerned with my actual weight, but how I actually feel and look. A few years back, when I first got into the oilfield, I worked six days a week with two off afterward. And, I got down to about 250 punds, and the back up to about 270 and I wasn't what you'd call ripped. But, I didn't have a big gut, and had some damn big arms.
Back to my resoulution. My plan is to get into better shape throughout the year. But, my resoulution is to start exercising more everyday. And, to spend at least two hours outside every day I'm not working, and one on the days I do work. And, the plan is simple. I will start by doing one push-up, one sit-up, and two repetitions of each of five different dumbell exercises a day, and then add one push-up and one sit-up and double the dumbell exercises each week till the end of the year. By the end of the year I will be doing fifty two push-ups and sit-ups a day, and one hundred and four repetitions of each bumbell exercise. I haven't quite worked out my biking plan just yet, but I want to work up to five miles a day riding, may do twelve and start out at a mile a day and add a mile every month.

Secondly, I'm going to do more volunteer work. My plan is to do a day or weekend a month helping out at the local homeless shelter, or soup kitchen. The day or weekend will depend on how long the voulenteer work is. If I'm just going up there and helping to serve lunch, then I'll come back and do lunch again the next day. But, If I'm up there from seven to four or so, I'll take the next day to do stuff at home.

Thirdly, I'm going to be the example I want my kids to emulate. I'm going to use please and thank you more often and just be generally more plesant when interacting with others. I figure since I want my kids to be like that, I should be the example of what I want them to be and do.

Lastly, I'm going back to my teaching and what I learned from my Grandpaw. This is specific but covers more that just one subject. He had a quite simple philosophy about everything, "Why create more work than necessary. Especially for someone else." We were at some barell races this weekend, and after every body had run and packed up and gone, I noticed that people had just left their trash and chairs all over the damn arena. And, it aggrivated the piss-water out of me. The chairs belonged to the fairgrounds, and people were just too damn lazy to put up what they got out. So, me and my daughters started picking put the chairs and putting them away, and picking up the trash and throwing it away. My grandpaw was anal about this kind of crap. I remember when we would go out to eat, when we were done, we would wipe off the table and put all our trash on our plates and stack the plates and glasses (if they were empty, the plates always were). He wouldn't even allow a straw wrapper to be leaft on the table. Said, "It ain't right to create work for someone else when you can do it youself just sitting there." There'd be hell to pay if you threw your candy wrapper out the window going down the road or on the ground anywhere you were. He'd say' "It ain't too far to walk to a trash can. And if it is, it ain't hurt ya to hold on to it this long. So, you can hold on to it a little while longer till you can throw it away."

Another of my grandpaw's rules were, "Ya don't cuss in front the women folk." Now, I'm terrible at that, and will need a major over haul to stop cussing around women. But, it's a risk I'm willing to make. Not, that it'll be insurmountablly hard, but more so I'm just use to cussing a lot and don't even think about it most of the time. And, yes, that even includes this blog. Wish me luck on this one.

Ya know, ya just can't change a part of your life or behaviour. Nor, just change it at certian times, you have to make a life choice to change something and make is encompass everything you do all the time, or it will never change and you will end up back where you started.

Weather you believe in a higher power or not, you have to create your own blessings. Because, even if he can come down and do it for you, he won't. Just like, you won't do your childs homework for them.

To all a Happy New Year, and may it be blessed with nothing but good times.